21 reasons to wear a beaded glasses chain (12 of them involve pirates)
You might think wearing a beaded glasses chain doesn’t sound very rock’n’roll, but let’s take it back to basics. People who wear glasses are cool. People who wear sunglasses are super cool. People who wear sunglasses inside are rockstar cool, but they often bump into things. People who wear glasses some of the time , often put their glasses down and then spend ages looking for them – very uncool (and annoying)! And a big issue if you just happen to be on a pirate ship in a storm – especially if you’re at the helm.
This is where you need a glasses chain. But not a boring, frumpy one! A pirate-inspired beaded glasses chain designed by Vera Black! Vera doesn’t design or make boring stuff. One of her trouser chains was worn by Johnny Depp. She designed some beaded glasses chains that were cool enough to make everyone wear glasses. Even those unlucky pirates with eye patches!
Still need convincing (or are you only really here for the pirates)?
Here’s the 21 reasons to wear a beaded glasses chain:
- You always know where your glasses are. Obvious, but true.
- You get instant pirate vibes, and who doesn’t love a pirate (except pesky law enforcers)?
- You save money (for more rum) as you don’t need extra pairs of glasses.
- You don’t waste time (when you could be finding treasure) looking for your glasses.
- Our glasses chains make glasses wearers look EVEN MORE sexy!
- You can’t sit on your glasses and break them when they’re hanging around your neck
- No-one else can sit on your glasses and break them (no need to worry when a crew member shouts “Avast behind!”)
- You can add some laid-back bling to your look just by pimping your glasses/sunglasses
- You can slip your sunglasses on and off like a bad-ass when moving from sun to shade
- Waggling your eyebrows suggestively over glasses is hot. It’s smokin’ hot if you then let your glasses fall on their chain.
- Doing no.10 while naked is guaranteed to get you sex. Disclaimer: This move must only be attempted with an established sexual partner. Don’t try it the moment you step ashore in a new port.
- It’s a super cool necklace that keeps your glasses safe! No more slipping them onto the top of your shirt and hoping they will stay there.
- They can be worn with both casual and smart outfits, as well as pirate garb.
- It gives gorgeous strangers an easy opening line: “I love your piratey beaded glasses chain! Where did you get it?”
- Your sunglasses are always close to hand if you want to check someone out without being rumbled (yeah, you think you’re getting away with it, but they can see you!).
- You always have both hands free even if you take your glasses off. Useful when the sea gets rough or if a shipmate hands you two bottles of rum.
- You will never get your glasses caught in your hair when storing them on your head
- No shipmate can steal your glasses when you are wearing them on a chain
- The beads are great to fiddle with while you’re concentrating on something – a doubly-useful fidget spinner!
- They add instant gravitas to the scary captain over-the-glasses-glare – useful for quelling on-board mutinies.
- Cool glasses chains are always in vogue. They were featured in Vogue magazine when supermodel Gigi Hadid wore a glasses chain. Although they can’t seem to spell pirate chic properly. They have spelt it g-r-a-n-n-y chic.
So grab your Vera Black beaded glasses chains now and bring some (almost sensible) piratical swagger into your life!
Not sure if you’re enough of a pirate? Take our fun: Are you a gypsy, pirate or rockstar? personality test to find out more.